Gor blimey, Mary Poppins! Dancing Bugsy Malones!

When considering some of the great things England has given the world, Cockney rhyming slang must be right up here with fish ‘n’ chips and Monty Python. For anyone unfamiliar with the concept, Cockney rhyming slang is form of slang in which a word is replaced with another that rhymes with it e.g. stairs = apples and pears. The Cockney bit refers to those lovely folk from East London born within the sound of Bow Bells.

Any old iron er…how, because Cockney rhyming slang is a living language that continues to evolve, we thought we’d bring it bang up to date and apply it to social media and the online world. So the FWD team put their heads together and have come up with the following. Strike a light!

• iPod = Brickie’s hod  e.g. “Oi, can you turn your brickie down!”
• iPhone = Bugsy Malone e.g. “I ‘ad me Bugsy nicked on the tube.”
• Facebook = Kelly Brook e.g. “Who were you chattin’ to on Kelly Brook last night, then?”
• MySpace = death and disgrace e.g. “Everyone else has left death and disgrace for Kelly Brook.”
• Spam = strawberry jam e.g. “Gor blimey, me inbox is full of strawberry jam this mornin’!”
• YouTube = Rubik’s Cube e.g. “I’m gonna upload that video of you falling over to Rubik’s Cube.”
• Google = apple strudel e.g. “Why don’t cha just strudel it?”
• Twitter = spam fritter e.g. “Naw, I deleted me spam fritter account last week.”
• Tweet = sweaty feet e.g. “I going to send a sweaty about that.”

To be frank, we struggled with Linkedin and email so any suggestions for those or indeed any other cockney-techno  speak most welcome. Gertcha! Now I need to get with with writing me Phileas Fogg!

Written by Adrian Beeby